i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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