Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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