Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
