I'd wear matching sweaters with you
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The uberlube is also flammable
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
