I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
