What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
