someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
so let's talk penis.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
