he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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