do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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