I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize