i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
