About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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