Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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