someone get that fucking seahorse.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
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he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
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