This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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