What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Success! We fucked roommates!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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