we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We need to get me chipped asap
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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