so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
