About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
