remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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