Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
