I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I want a musical about memes.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
