dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
ttyl tear gas
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
