Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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