We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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