belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
