I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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