STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
