Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
this will be a night to untag.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
