spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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