I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
