Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
