she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
