I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
