i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
