Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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