so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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