OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
