just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
