just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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