"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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