Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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