Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
