I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You dont lie about slip and slides
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
