This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
