This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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