Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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