I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize