you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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