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Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
