Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You are a genius and a whore.
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