what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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