I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize