All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
