I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
