help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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