And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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