you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
