he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
