i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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