Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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