Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
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He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
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I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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